Students’ struggles leave a life lesson

It is crazy really, how hard life can hit you, out of nowhere, straight across the face. It can feel like being thrown into the deep end without knowing how to swim.

When I was 10, I didn’t know a year from then I would be watching my mom die.

I did not know that in one year from then, I would go to bed crying, every night, because I didn’t know if my mom would make it through the night. I had no idea that seeing my mother attached to an IV pole would become the norm. I never thought my mom’s illness would diminish her-that she would become fragile, all skin and bones. It would have never crossed my mind that my best friend would die right before my eyes.

In everybody’s life, God places at least one struggle upon them, one problem so

monumental that it weighs your mind and make your heart ache. This was the struggle that God placed before me. The everyday pain was insurmountable.

To see my mom struggle in her fight against her disease with virtually no cure was a constant struggle for. Having to comfort my siblings as they cried because they wanted their mother happy again was a crippling burden. Though I always needed to cry, I never shed a tear in front of them. I was where they went for comfort. I had to be strong for them. It is hard to remember a time where my mind and heart felt light and free, absent of the growing worry and sorrow.

My mom has improved in health since I was younger; she’s no longer burdened by an IV or a port. She looks almost normal again. Almost happy. Though she still struggles with near constant pain, she is slowly trekking down a road to recovery.

Though these three years were immensely tough, watching my mom struggle made me realize many things so very vital. As life goes on, you have to love your family and friends as if you were going to lose them–as if this was the last time you would ever share a smile. Never go the sleep angry; Never leave your home with rage in your heart. Life is merciless and a mere fraction of a second can forever alter your life.

 As I struggled to digest and understand why my family was being put through so many anguishing trials, I discovered another lesson that completely changed my life. For many who have gone through, or are going through a situation similar to mine know that having a constant comfort helps you to push through a situation. Without a shadow of a doubt, my comfort was God. I didn’t see this at first because my anger shadowed it.

For the first time in my life, I was furious with God. I constantly wondered about why He allowed this to happen to my family. I searched for answers to the question “Why me?”. I didn’t understand what I had done to be deserving of the aching pain I felt in my heart. I went a few months this way, feeling as if I was betrayed, wondering why my prayers were not being answered.It wasn’t until I was driving to soccer practice that I realized the error of my ways. I was listening to the radio when I heard a song I didn’t recognize begin to play. I learned later that the title was “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns. It came to me in that moment that the error was not God’s, but my own. This song that only lasted a few minutes forever made an impact on my life, teaching that though we may feel alone, we have to hold onto faith.

Faith as well as hope are things that are so essential to have when you are struggling through life, because without it and hope no battle against life can be won.Your hope and faith are like a shield and sword, they assist you in battling through your situation. Without them, you are rendered defenseless. But if you keep them both in your heart, safe and secure, the chaos of life will never stand a chance.