Proper steps to restaurant etiquette

You walk in and hear the clinking of dishes, smell the various aromas and see the heavily decorated layout of the establishment. A restaurant. It is not your first and it will not be your last. So the question arises, to be a jerk or not to be one? Just as Shakespeare inquired in the days of yore, the same goes to any and every patron. For the sake of all that is cannoli, please be kind to your server. If your answer of choice happens to be the latter on occasion, here are some tips.

Step 1: Do not be impatient.

When you walk through those doors, you are their prey, their oasis, their life. Given these circumstances, they will certainly try their best to seat you as quickly as they can.

Step 2: Let the wait/er/ress choose your seat.

If you are brought to your seat, seated and then mid-menu you hit them with that “Can we get a booth?” you should be ashamed of yourself. The seating is calculated, given to each specific server beforehand. When you ask for a booth, it could throw the charts way off and work some too hard while giving the others close to none. It is chaos.

Step 3: Again, be patient.

Having ordered, wait patiently. It is simply as easy as that. Do you have anywhere to go? You probably do not because you chose a sit-down restaurant to “dine” instead of just “eating” in some skeezy hole-in-the-wall.

Step 4: Be quiet, respectful and also do not be pigs.

Clean up your trash. If at all possible, stack your plates, do not leave crumbs everywhere or napkins scattered about. The servers have minimal time to clean each table, so be courteous.

Step 5: #TOGH

The #TipOrGoHome means tip or leave. If after all the time and effort your server has shown, you give them a meager tip, you do not even deserve to have walked into the establishment.

Apply these tips you are mad or having a bad day (and yes, even if you are indeed in a rush). You have my word that everyone will have a good time if you follow these simple steps.