Students Discuss Dealing With Loss of Parent

An average high school student worries about their grades, who they are going to ask to prom, what they are going to wear to the football game and what college they are applying to, but 5% of high school students  worry about something else: how they are going to live without their parents. 

An estimated 1.5 million children in the US lose one or both parents by the age of 15. Losing a parent at such a young age can take a toll on someone’s mental health, they can go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance or they can develop other mental issues such as anxiety. 

“I try to stay as positive as I can” senior Ryan Jacobs said, “yes I break down sometimes but that’s a part of life”. 

Jacobs lost her mother at the age of seven on Christmas Day, and her father on Father’s Day in 2019. Since her father’s death she has been living with her older brother. Her mother died from a blood clot that formed in her leg after a gastric bypass surgery, and ever since then she felt different from her classmates; her classmates have moms and dads who help out with their kids extracurriculars while she does not. After her dad passed her future plans changed. Jacobs was a part of the  Medical Academy her sophomore and junior year. Her father encouraged her to pursue a career in the medical field, but her heart was always in theater and fashion. Because both of her parents deaths were medically related, Jacobs felt too emotional to continue on with the class, and plans to attend SCAD, FIT NYC or Howard for fashion business management, marketing and minoring in fashion.

 “After my dad passed I just knew I couldn’t do internship without breaking down and crying every time I went,” Jacobs said. 

Junior Kate Irving lost her father in 2018 to an infection brought on from diabetes and years of drug use. She felt lost without him, no longer having a dad to support her, and to be able to spend time with him like her classmates do with their dads. After her father passed away their financial situation took a toll because he was the supporter of the family and Irving has three other siblings her mother has to take care of. Despite all else Irving’s mom held everything together for her family. Because her father’s death was due to intravenous drugs, Irving has strong feelings about drug abuse. 

“Drugs don’t just affect the person using them, but the people around them as well,” Irving said.  

 Death affects everyone’s lives, days, weeks, months, and years after their loved one passes. Learning to live without your parents is a difficult thing to do, and even more difficult to do while still in high school.

“It’s been difficult knowing I don’t have a father figure in my life,” Irving said “just not being able to see him and get the support from my father has been hard”.